Ask Volnik
by Volnik the Imp

Dear Volnik,

I have a problem. My friends all think I like this girl, but I really don't. She's a loudmouth and we do nothing but argue. Her views are outrageous, stupid, and illogical. Everything that comes out of her mouth sets me on edge. I mean, sure, she's not hard on the eyes, but she drives me crazy. The thing is, I keep seeing her everywhere I am! I think she has a thing for me. What should I do to get rid of her, and how do I convince my friends that I have no interest in this girl?

Signed,
Confused and Annoyed in Elwynn


Dear Bonehead.

She's easy on the eyes - fel, give her to me. I don't have to be right if she has a thing for small, green, and fiery.

I think you protest too much - meaning I think your friends might be right. You run into her coincidentally, you say, but ask yourself this: Do you go to places where you might run into her? Where you know you'll cross her path?

I consulted with my romance expert - Drusandra the Succubus - and she had the following to add. She believes that relationships based on conflict can result in the most fiery, passionate-- whoa, Dru, we can't publish that.

If you really want to get rid of her, there's no faster way than finding yourself an available gal you actually like to keep you company. Once she sees another woman in your life, that should make her disappear. And if it doesn't, play crazy. That usually works. Say things like: "For Darkness!" and "Shadows hear my prayers and scald my enemies with the powers of fel." Trust me, I have experience with this sort of thing.

As far as your friends go, who cares about convincing them? Rib them right back. If they see it bothers you, they're going to keep at it. Don't let it.

From Your Friendly Fel Ladies' Demon,
Volnik the Imp

If you wish Volnik the Imp to publish one of your letters, send a message to Trixi Tudlington via the AD-RP.com community postings or mail Trixi at Trixi_Tudlington@yahoo.com.

Arrest Made in Maltese Panther Case, Statuette Yet Unrecovered
by Trixi Tudlington

Ironforge - Yesterday, a Draenei woman, Circetara Rykerx, was arrested for the murder of Horatio Feldspar, the archaeologist from the Explorer's League who was killed before the unveiling of what citizens are now calling the Maltese Panther, a feline statuette.

Authorities declined to comment officially, but through a source, we at The Stormwind Sentinel have learned that the woman has been connected with several crimes in Darkshire and Lakeshire. Her rap sheet includes multiple suspected murders, theft of magical items, and allegedly spying for the Forsaken and Sin'Dorei. The odd thing about this woman is that her description does not match her name, which is, indeed, the name on the rap sheet. Authorities are still sorting out the details.

A witness claimed to have seen the Draenei woman only days prior to the incident, asking Feldspar about an item, presumably the Maltese Panther itself. "Dr. Feldspar sent her to Darnassus, and the woman did not seem entirely happy with this instruction," the witness claims.

Archaeologist Found Dead in Hall of Mysteries, Reward Offered for Statue Recovery
by Trixi Tudlington

Ironforge - Dr. Horatio Feldspar of the Explorer’s League was found dead early Thursday morning in the upper gallery of the Hall of Mysteries, Ironforge. He was stabbed at least five times from the front, leading authorities to believe he knew his attacker. Authorities have no leads at this time.

Dr. Feldspar and his assistant, DeVollio, discovered an artifact in the Uldaman excavation site earlier this week. Dr. Feldspar was to unveil the artifact Thursday evening at eight bells in the Hall of Explorers.

The artifact in question is the Statue of the Great Cat Spirit, rumored to be the key to controlling the Great Cat Spirit himself. Authorities have not yet been able to locate Dr. Feldspar’s research and notes concerning the find.

The Hall of Explorer’s is offering a sum of one thousand gold for the statue’s safe return, no questions asked.

The Fashion Buzz

by Wera Vang Praducci

On the fashion front, a popular choice for both females and males is the infamous Swashbuckler's Shirt, commonly referred to in fashion circles as the "Swash." This shirt goes with nearly everything, and comes in black, red, or white. On a woman, it has a low-scoop neck for a classy hint of sexy when paired with the proper outfit. The laces draw the eye, and the billowing material is flattering on nearly any form. The sleeves have a loose, breezy cuff, which lengthens the arm and flatters the figure. Today, I would like to show you a few ways to dress up the Swashbuckler's Shirt on both female and male models.

White Swashbuckler's Shirt:

The White Swashbuckler's Shirt is debatably one of the most popular tops in today's fashion industry. It goes with nearly everything, and compliments both men and women equally. Here we have a few looks paired with this fashion main-stay.



Here it is paired with the Aurora pants, a nice gold-trimmed cropped pant that does well paired with knit sandals. Both Red and Black would also suitably match the Aurora pants, as well as the Azure Silk and Crimson Silk Vests.



And here the lovely top is paired with a Colorful Kilt, which equally suits the Black and White tops. A simple kilt could be substituted.



Here we have this top paired with the tuxedo pants, a sleek black pant equally dashing on male or female. All varieties match the tuxedo pant.

Red and Black Swashbuckler's Shirt:

A variation of the White Swashbuckler's Shirt, we have the Red and Black.



Here it is paired with the afore-mentioned tuxedo pant which compliments both sexes well. It adds a splash of color suitable for semi-casual evening wear.



And here we have the same on a male model, paired with the Crimson Silk Pantaloons. This makes a nice matching pantset ideal for semi-formal evening wear that is sure to be eye-catching.



Here is the Black "Swash" paired with the Pantaloons and sandals, making a nice casual evening outfit.

Crimson Silk and Azure Silk Vests:

The Crimson Silk Vest is a sleeveless variation of the Red Swash. The Azure Silk Vest is a variation of color in a light sky-blue sleeveless. These are usually better suited to women, but we do have a male model sporting the Azure.



Here is the Azure on a male. Note that with the right pants - in this case a pair of simple Knitted Pants - this makes a nice, colorful, casual outfit suitable for warm weather.



And here we have the same Azure Silk Vest on a female model, paired with the Azure Silk Pants. It makes a charming day-outfit. The Crimson Silk Vest is a red version of this sporty look.

Buccaneer's Vest:

Don't be fooled by the term "vest." This is simply a White Swash with tighter sleeve cuffs. If the loose cuff of the Swash is not flattering for you, you might be interested in the "Buck Vest."

The "Swash" is a vital wardrobe piece for any clothing lover. As versatile as it is flattering, it will be the centerpiece of many an outfit.

Attack on Ratchet Leaves Two Injured and One Dead

by Trixi Tudlington

Ratchet - An attack on Ratchet earlier this month left at least two members of the Horde wounded and one blood elf dead. The target of the attack appears to have been "Thaag-0-Matic Boomkrafting Korporation." Authorities seem to have no suspects and no leads at this time.

Local goblin merchant, Engineer Gazlowe, was a witness to the explosion.

"I seen an elf go in there, this guy Thaag's got workin' for her. Then I seen her sister go inside too, an' not long after, sounded like a damn bomb went off. I look outside an' seen smoke rising from the top of Thaag's, an' it look like she went an' blew the whole place up."

Witnesses claim to have seen an unknown intruder entering the building. After the explosion, the body of a young male elf was recovered, but his identity was unknown. Another male blood elf was critically wounded - the pupil of Boomkrafting Korporation's owner Thaag. Names have not yet been released.

The "John Doe" recovered from the wreckage was one of possibly two intruders, claim bystanders. "His head was laying at this weird angle," says local merchant's daughter, Binksi Plitzu. "It looked like he'd been hit real bad."

Some members of the Horde suspect an Alliance attack on the neutral goblin-held town of Ratchet. Horde leaders could not be reached for comment. Many of the goblin locals believe that Thaag blew up her own shop accidentally, the result of a "boomkrafting" error.

This seems to be the question that remains, thus far, unanswered: Thaag-O-Matic explosion - accident or conspiracy?

The Stormwind Sentinel Staff

Editor-in-Chief: Watley Kritercon
Watley Kritercon is the Editor-in-Chief of The Stormwind Sentinel. Prior to his current appointment, Kritercon served as Senior Columnist and Managing Editor for the famed Gadgetzan Gazette where he established a reputation for independence and excellence in print journalism.

Managing Editor: Annet Disawyer
Prior to Annet's position as Managing Editor of The Stormwind Sentinel, she helped to launch Global Underground News Alliance Bureau - the now-defunct newspaper known as G.U.N. - in conjunction with the Fireworks Extravaganza in Stormwind. As a former Alliance Managing Editor for G.U.N., she has the experience that continues to represent The Sentinel as one of the top news sources in Azeroth.

An only daughter of farmers from Westfall, Annet received top marks from Northshire Abbey in Literature and Composition. She started the Dear Abbey publication that received praise from the Monks and Nuns all the way to Stonewatch Keep in Redridge.

Chief Field Correspondent: Trixi Tudlington
Trixi Tudlington has a stellar reputation for tough, truth-digging journalism. Prior to Ms. Tudlington's current position, she was a field correspondent for The Gadgetzan Gazette. Her former Editor-in-Chief, Vraxil Detante, had this to say about her: "Tudlington delivers hard-nosed journalism that leads the public straight into the heart of the truth." She is highly dedicated to her craft, traveling the distances - and often into war-torn contested zones - in search of the truth.

Field Correspondent: Brock Kentman
Mr. Kentman has five years of hard-earned reporting under his belt, and he's ever-eager for more. Prior to his position with our newspaper, Mr. Kentman was a scout for the Alliance forces from Lordaeron.


Reporter: Stewart Colberwin



Photojournalist: Tucker Tomson



Opinions Editor: Reapen Sowe




Columnists:

People: Rivaldo Gerera


Fashion: Wera Vang Praducci



Sports: Winchie Walton



Arts and Leisure: Dyania Summersleaf



Finance and Advertising: Albean Rabblerschwitz



Advice: Volnik the Imp and Drusandra the Succubus